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Helping Others Heal in the New Year with Tri-Valley Haven

January marks the start of a new calendar year. For many people, it’s also symbolic of a new start. It represents a new year and a new chance to make changes to make the coming year better than the last. People are turning the page to a new chapter in their lives — and many of them need support in doing so.

Volunteering and donating at the Haven takes many shapes, but every form makes a critical contribution to our mission of creating homes safe from abuse, and building a world without violence. We help people in need to heal and re-grow; is there a more important calling? Tri-Valley Haven is here to guide you contributing to helping others heal in the new year, because it is together that we build a world without violence.    

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If your resolution is to help others heal Tri-Valley Haven offers a wide variety of services aimed at enabling individuals to do more than merely heal from physical and mental abuse that rely on the generosity of our allies. The services are designed to help individuals on their journey of growing healthy again and moving forward positively, in both body and soul. 

TVH opportunities to contribute include:

 

  • Advocacy Positions: Each position requires that the applicant be at least 21 years old and undergo a rigorous, 65-hour training course. Additionally, applicants should be good listeners, empathetic, and able to commit to volunteering over the course of at least one year.
    • Crisis Line: Our Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Counselors staff the Haven’s 24-hour Crisis Line. Both day and night shifts are available. Volunteers usually take one or two shifts a month.
    • Rape Crisis Advocates: Tri-Valley Haven Rape Crisis Center Advocates respond to sexual assault crisis line calls, as well as to domestic violence calls. They also provide in-person emotional support for victims by accompanying clients to the hospital, police department, court, and other appointments as necessary. Volunteers usually take one or two shifts a month.
    • Legal Clinic Advocates: Legal Clinic volunteers assist clients with various paperwork requirements associated with the Haven’s free Temporary Restraining Order service. Volunteers need to be computer literate, and usually work at one or two clinics a month.

  • Volunteer Opportunities: Volunteering at the Haven takes many shapes, but every job makes a critical contribution to our mission of creating homes safe from abuse, and building a world without violence. No level of skill is insufficient. We help people in need to heal and re-grow; is there a more important calling? People interested in volunteering at TVH should contact Lynne, Volunteer Coordinator at (925) 449-5845, ext. 2711, or via email at lynne@trivalleyhaven.org.
    *Multilingual and multicultural individuals encouraged to contact us for translating/interpreting opportunities to provide culturally competent care for our diverse clients. 

    • Childcare: Childcare volunteers interact with the children at our shelters while their mothers are in group meetings. Volunteers must be at least 21 years old, be dedicated and responsible, complete a condensed, 2-1/2 hour training course, be fingerprinted, and be willing to sign up for at least one shift per month.
    • Thrift Store: Thrift Store Volunteers receive, sort, and stock donated merchandise. Volunteers may also launder and/or mend donated merchandise as needed. Other responsibilities could include customer service and cashier work. Volunteers need to be 16 years or older, friendly, and with good attention to detail
    • Food Pantry: Volunteers at our food pantry help make and distribute food bags, stock shelves, and rotate food, as well as do filing and data entry. Individuals attend a two- to four-hour training session.
    • Special Events: At various times throughout the year, the Haven sponsors or participates in special community events such as Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Pace for Peace and Family Fair, Thanksgiving Basket Distribution, Holiday Warehouse Project, and others. We always need and welcome helping hands at these functions.
    • Group Volunteers: There are always jobs around the Community Building or at other locations that can benefit from the broad shoulders and great spirit of dedicated volunteers, and The Haven gratefully welcomes organizations that plan special days for doing charitable work. Jobs include painting, renovation, yardwork and maintenance, and help at special events, such as food distribution at the holidays.
    • For Teens: Teenagers 13 years of age and older are welcomed with open arms at the Haven. Even though they don’t work directly with our clients, there are many opportunities for them to contribute, from helping in the office, or at the food pantry, or by volunteering for special events, such as fundraisers, car washes, and supply drives. Some jobs, such as helping with childcare, require the supervision of an adult.

  • Donating: Help us to create homes safe from abuse, to contribute to a more peaceful society.
    • Direct Financial Donations: Those wishing to make a one-time donation can simply click on the link below. The process is clear, simple, and quick. If you work for an employer that has a relationship with United Way, you can also direct a portion of your monthly check to go to Tri-Valley Haven. Some employers match their employee’s charitable contributions; please inquire if your company can help you increase your donation. https://donatenow.networkforgood.org/trivalleyhaven?code=TVHTrack
    • CSECC and United Way Contributions: Does your workplace participate in the CA State Employees Charitable Contributions (CSECC) or United Way campaign? Are you interested in helping Tri-Valley Haven? If YES, please write in the following donation on your annual campaign form:

      Tri-Valley Haven
      3663 Pacific Ave
      Livermore, CA 94550
      Tax ID: #94-2462357

    • Become a Member of Tri-Valley Haven: Becoming a member of our organization — at a financial level that’s comfortable for you — has several advantages. First, your contribution, coming as it does on a monthly basis, represents a steady income stream that helps us in our planning. Additionally, and as importantly, you strengthen our organization by your very involvement. We need your help!
    • Tri-Valley Haven Thrift Store: Shop or Donate! A true treasure hunter’s delight awaits you at the new and improved Tri-Valley Haven Thrift Store. Tri-Valley Haven’s sparkling thrift store sells items at great prices and all proceeds go to Tri-Valley Haven programs! With beautiful recent upgrades like new flooring, lighting, racks and more, the Haven Thrift Store is clean, bright, stuffed full of amazing bargains, and ready to serve the community. You can benefit our services either by shopping here, or donating here. It’s a win-win proposition.
      • The Haven Thrift Store is located at 116 North L Street in Livermore California, 94550. Open 7 days a week, 10:00 AM – 6:00 PM. Donations ONLY accepted between 11:00 AM – 2:00 PM.

        To contact the store by phone, please call (925) 449-1177.
    • Non-financial Donations, Our Wish List: The Haven solicits and appreciates the donation of new items that may be distributed to our residents and clients. These include personal hygiene products, cleaning products, as well as other items that may be suitable as gifts during the holidays. Gently used household items and furniture are accepted on an as-needed basis.

      For a complete list of acceptable items, please contact us at 925-449-5845.
    • BART Riders: Drop Your Tiny Tickets Off at Tri-Valley Haven’s Community Building – 3663 Pacific Avenue in Livermore! Or mail them to P.O. Box 2190, Livermore, 94551! Tiny tickets are those hoards of BART tickets, often discarded or left in pockets or drawers, that have tiny bits of value left on them, a nickel, a dime, and more in some cases, that could be turned into cash. Although currently the residual value of tickets may be consolidated, refunded or exchanged by BART, the majority of such tickets are left unused. The Tiny Tickets Program allows these resources to provide needed support to local community-based organizations.
    • Search and Shopping Portals: Tri-Valley Haven is registered with GoodSearch.com. This is a website like Google or Yahoo! that allows a portion of the revenues generated from any search you make using the site to be directed to the charity of your choice. All you do is identify Tri-Valley Haven as your charity, and then search as you normally would. It’s free, easy, and completely automatic! You can even put a GoodSearch toolbox in your browser. Try Goodsearch now!

      Other ways to help Tri-Valley Haven during your everyday activities is to do your online shopping via portals such as igive.com, or — during the course of your daily errands — to use our new SHARES food cards, which may be used at several of your favorite grocery stores. In each case, a portion of your eligible purchases come to the Haven — automatically! Call us at 925-449-5845 to sign up for your free SHARES card.
    • Facebook Tri-Valley Haven has a “Cause” page on this popular social networking site, allowing you to make online donations directly from that page. https://www.facebook.com/trivalleyhaven/

Tri-Valley Haven hopes to help you contribute to others on their journey toward hope and healing this new year. 

CONTACT US

If you are seeking crisis counseling or are seeking shelter, please call our crisis line at 925.449.5842 or 800.884.8119.

You can reach our counseling and administrative offices at 925.449.5845

Our Food Pantry‘s phone number is 925.449.1664

Our Community Building is located at:  3663 Pacific Avenue      Livermore, CA 94550

Our Pleasanton Office is by appointment only.

Our Thrift Store116 N. L Street, Livermore CA, 94550 Open 7 days a week, 10 AM- 6 PM

Donations ONLY accepted between 11:00 AM – 3:00 PM Phone: (925) 449-1177
_________________________________________________________________
screen-shot-2016-09-10-at-4-47-42-pm

Adriana is a Bilingual Sexual Assault Advocate and Human Trafficking Specialist at Tri-Valley Haven.  For more information about how you can support our life-saving services for survivors and families, please call our office at (925) 449-5845 or visit http://www.trivalleyhaven.org

Personal Hope and Healing in the New Year with Tri-Valley Haven

January marks the start of a new calendar year. For many people, it’s also symbolic of a new start. It represents a new year and a new chance to make changes to make the coming year better than the last. People are turning the page to a new chapter in their lives — a chapter they hope will be better than the last!

Many New Year’s resolutions focus on personal lifestyle changes that people hope will make their futures brighter and better. Some of the most popular New Year’s resolutions involve physical health, but emotional and mental health is just as important! Improving your mental or emotional health can affect your stress levels and the quality of your relationships with others and yourself. Tri-Valley Haven is here to help you in your resolution of hope and healing this new year.  

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If your resolution is to heal
Tri-Valley Haven offers a wide variety of services aimed at
enabling individuals to do more than merely heal from physical and mental abuse. The services are designed to help individuals on their journey of growing healthy again and moving forward positively, in both body and soul.

TVH Services include:

 

  • Rape Crisis Center: TVH addresses the emotional and practical needs of sexual assault victims, helping survivors through the emotional, medical, and legal processes following an assault. In assisting with crisis intervention, in-person/follow-up counseling, and advocacy and referral services, the Center’s advocates keep survivor information completely confidential. The term “advocate” is appropriate: we are there for the survivor.
  • Domestic Violence Services: With 30 beds, TVH’s Shiloh Domestic Violence Shelter houses and supports women and their children who are victims of domestic violence. Situated in a safe and confidential location, the house provides in-house groups and counseling, case management, emergency food, clothing, and personal items.
    If you are seeking shelter, please call our crisis line at 925.449.5842 or 800.884.8119.

  • Restraining Order Clinic: Assistance is provided to clients in preparing the paperwork to apply for a temporary restraining order. The client is given information about how how to file the order with the court and have the restrained person served after approval. They provide information about the court process and can accompany clients to court to provide support, however they are not lawyers. All services are free of charge. Drop-in, no appointment necessary.
    • Tuesday, 5:30 PM, Tri-Valley Haven Pleasanton Satellite Offices
    • Thursday, 2:00 PM — 4:00 PM, Tri-Valley Haven Community Building

      For more information on the Restraining Order Clinic, call our Legal Services Advocates at (925) 449-5847 x206.

 

  • Homeless Services: The Haven’s 16-bed Sojourner House provides temporary shelter for homeless families in a safe, supportive environment. With separate bedrooms for family units, a stocked kitchen, three full baths, and laundry facilities, Sojourner House is the only homeless shelter in the Tri-Valley Area that accepts two-parent families, single fathers with children, and families with teenage boys.
  • Counseling Services and Support Groups: Tri-Valley Haven offers a variety of counseling and support group services in the belief that while healing is the necessary first step in re-building broken lives, more help must be made available to empower people to regain their sense of self, their sense of pride, and their sense of accomplishment.

 

      1. Individual Counseling: We offer one-on-one therapy sessions for both adults and children, to address all domestic violence or sexual assault-related issues. Counseling sessions are initially free, and then available on a sliding scale.
      2. Domestic Violence Support Group: Tri-Valley Haven offers a Domestic Violence Support Group for survivors of domestic violence. This is a 8-week closed group, meaning participants must sign up in advance.
      3. Sexual Assault Support Group: Tri-Valley Haven offers a Sexual Assault Support Group for survivors of domestic violence. This is a 8-week closed group, meaning participants must sign up in advance.

        To schedule your first appointment, please call (925) 449-5845.

 

  • Food pantry: Each month, the Tri-Valley Haven Food Pantry distributes free groceries to more than 4,000 low-income Tri-Valley residents. The Haven’s permanent Food Pantry — located at the Mar Thoma Church, at 418 Junction Avenue in Livermore — serves as a gateway to our suite of homeless services.

    • Food Pantry Hours are Monday – Wednesday 1PM – 5PM, Thursdays from 1 PM – 7 PM, and Fridays from 12 PM – 4 PM.

      Call the Haven’s Food Pantry for more information at (925) 449-1664.

 

  • Parenting Support: Parents Creating Change (PCC) allows parents with children under five to discuss parenting issues and obtain information and/or referrals as needed in one-on-one sessions, offered through the Every Child Counts grant (funded by First 5 Alameda County).

    For more information, contact our Community Building at (925) 449-5845.

Tri-Valley Haven hopes to be a part of your journey toward hope and healing this new year. 

 

CONTACT US

If you are seeking crisis counseling or are seeking shelter, please call our crisis line at 925.449.5842 or 800.884.8119.

You can reach our counseling and administrative offices at 925.449.5845

Our Food Pantry‘s phone number is 925.449.1664

Our Community Building is located at:  3663 Pacific Avenue      Livermore, CA 94550

Our Pleasanton Office is by appointment only.

Our Thrift Store116 N. L Street, Livermore CA, 94550 Open 7 days a week, 10 AM- 6 PM

Donations ONLY accepted between 11:00 AM – 3:00 PM Phone: (925) 449-1177

_________________________________________________________________
screen-shot-2016-09-10-at-4-47-42-pm

Adriana is a Bilingual Sexual Assault Advocate and Human Trafficking Specialist at Tri-Valley Haven.  For more information about how you can support our life-saving services for survivors and families, please call our office at (925) 449-5845 or visit http://www.trivalleyhaven.org

Advocate Spotlight: Advocacy & Me

Gunjan is a Sexual Assault Advocate with Tri-Valley HavenGunjan volunteers as Sexual Assault Advocate at Tri-Valley Haven. As a volunteer, she meets with survivors of sexual assault to support them through the reporting process and provide them with resources.


Let me start by saying that working with survivors has been the most gratifying experience of my life. I have had quite a tough life myself and when I sought spiritual guidance, my Guru, my teacher, just told me one thing: Do selfless service – help somebody, anybody. And that’s when I found this amazing place called the “Tri-Valley Haven.”

After going through six months of rigorous training, I was still shaking on my first call at Highland Hospital in Oakland. I didn’t have a clue about my own course of action. I took a deep breath, went inside and every moment after that was just…. me being human. When I am with a survivor, their story becomes mine and their tears come rolling down my own eyes. But in return, my strength becomes their strength to come out of the trauma and take life with full stride, yet again.

Being an advocate has completely transformed me as a person. We all live sheltered lives and make our own small world, the focus of everything. As a sexual assault advocate, I stepped out of my shell and met some wonderful people, whom we refer to as “the survivors”. They are people like us, but life has put them in devastating situations and the least we can do is be there for them. Make them realize their own strength, which has been shadowed by some dark moments for a brief period in their lives.

I believe my job as an advocate is to be there for the Survivor unconditionally, help them revive their emotional strength, make them feel like they are in control and see them smile at the end of it all.


Sexual Assault Advocates must be at least 21 years old and complete a 65-hour training course at Tri-Valley Haven before volunteering. To learn about our advocacy services or other volunteer opportunities, visit our website www.trivalleyhaven.org

Put On Your Running Shoes – Tri-Valley Haven’s Pace For Peace is this Saturday!

Tri-Valley Haven's Pace For Peace is this weekend!Before the sun rises, Tri-Valley Haven’s dedicated staff and volunteers will arrive at our Community Building to set up for our annual Pace For Peace – 5K/10K Run/Walk on Saturday, October 3. We will arrange registration tables, put out coffee, mix Gatorade, set up the water tables and balloon arch and much more while we wait for over 200 runners and walkers to arrive.

Pace For Peace has been an annual event at Tri-Valley Haven for over a decade. Runners, walkers, and supporters gather to raise awareness about domestic violence, sexual assault, homelessness and hunger. It is truly inspiring to see so many people from our local community – and many people from other areas – come out to support Tri-Valley Haven.

Proceeds go directly Tri-Valley Haven’s life-saving services. Last year, we raised over $10,000 and this year we are hoping to raise even more!Saturday is your chance to win a brand new Apple Watch!

New this year we will have Chip Timing, Finisher Medals, Performance T-Shirts, a Spirited 5K Water Table, Great Raffle Prizes and more!  The Haven is also offering a special drawing for participants to win a brand new Apple Watch. Only 200 tickets will be available for a chance to win an Apple Watch –  42mm 7000 Series Space Grey with black sport band. Tickets will be available at packet pick-up on Thursday, so we are encouraging participants who are interested to register early online. If any tickets remain, we will have them on race day in case you missed out!

Join us on Saturday, October 3 for a beautiful 5K/10K run/walk through Livermore’s vineyards. The race starts and finishes at Tri-Valley Haven Community Building, 3663 Pacific Avenue, Livermore. The 10K starts at 8:00 am and the 5K starts at 8:05 am.

Tri-Valley Haven’s Pace For Peace has something for everyone, whether you are a serious runner or just out for a leisurely walk with friends and family supporting a good cause!  You can even bring your dog!

Interested in participating this year? Register online by clicking this link or register at the event on race-day (just remember to get there a early!). You can also fundraise online to support Tri-Valley Haven by clicking this link.

We hope to see you on Saturday!


THANK YOU TO OUR PACE FOR PEACE 5K/10K SPONSORS!

Thank you, Kaiser!Thank you, Goza Gear!Thank you, A-1! Thank you, Betty Taylor! Thank you, Contreras Chiropractic! Thank you, EPIC Insurance!   Thank you, UNCLE Credit Union!  Thank you, Paramedics Plus! Thank you, Stop-N-Wash!Thank you, Page Mill Winery!Thank you, Road ID!  Thank you, Panama Red!Thank you, First Street Alehouse!

Together we build a world without violence!

Being Heard: Tri-Valley Haven’s Domestic Violence Support Group

A Source of Strength and Courage - Collage and mixed media.

A Source of Strength and Courage  – Collage and mixed media.

Have you or a loved one experienced domestic violence or dating abuse? Tri-Valley Haven hosts a support group on Friday afternoons in Pleasanton for survivors of domestic violence who have experienced emotional, physical, sexual and/or financial abuse, as well as controlling and unhealthy relationships.

Through the 8-week group, the group participants learn from each other’s experiences and grow in their independence and belief in their own abilities. They identify the various forms of abusive relationships and give examples of how they have experienced these situations. They learn that they are not “crazy” and that “abuse is not my fault.” These women learn about healthy boundaries, communication, coping skills and self-esteem. Mainly, they are given the freedom and space to voice their thoughts and opinions, free from judgment or blame, and to have their experiences validated by others who “get it”.

Many of the survivors express gratitude at having the time and space for people in similar situations to listen to them and to understand – sometimes for the first time in their lives. Feeling heard and understood, as well as empowered, are the powerful tools that these women offer to each other through this group. Tri-Valley Haven is pleased to give these women the space to enhance and heal each others’ lives.

Along with support groups, Tri-Valley Haven also offers individual and family counseling to survivors of domestic violence or sexual assault. If you would like to learn more or schedule an appointment, please call Tri-Valley Haven Community Building at (925) 449-5845.


P4PArtwork2014 WinnerLiz is a counselor at Tri-Valley Haven. She facilitates a weekly Domestic Violence Support Group. For more information about our support groups or individual counseling services, please call 925.449.5845 or visit www.trivalleyhaven.org

At The Haven: Support Groups 101

Support Group PhotoIf you are a survivor, you may have considered joining a support group to connect with other survivors and share your experiences. Tri-Valley Haven (TVH) offers support groups for survivors of domestic violence or sexual assault.

If you’ve never attended a support group before, here is some general information about what we offer!

What is a support group?
Support groups provide a safe space for survivors of domestic violence or sexual assault to share their experiences and connect with each other. Tri-Valley Haven’s support groups usually run 8 weeks and they are closed groups, meaning participants must sign up for the group in advance.

New participants are only accepted at the start of each support group. We do not accept for drop-ins.

What are the benefits of a support group?
Many survivors feel they are alone, so support groups give survivors an opportunity to connect with others who have also experienced domestic violence or sexual assault. Often survivors are relieved to have a safe, confidential space where they can talk about the abuse or assault.

Our support groups also aim to support survivors as they begin the healing process and give them tools to help them along the way. We also focus on helping participants to develop healthy coping skills and practice self-care.

Who facilitates a support group?
Our support groups are facilitated by therapists or crisis counselors who have received special training to work with survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault through Tri-Valley Haven.

How do I sign up for a support group at Tri-Valley Haven?
All participants must call Tri-Valley Haven and sign up in advance. After participants sign up, the facilitator will give participants more details about the group, including the location of group meetings.

Domestic Violence Support Group in Pleasanton
Start date: Friday, July 17, 2015 (1 – 2:30 pm)
Sign up: Call Liz at 925.449.5845 ext. 2718
Participants must call ahead. No drop-ins.

Sexual Assault Support Group in Livermore
Start date: Wednesday, July 22, 2015 (5:30 – 7 pm)
Sign up: Call Jessie at 925.449.5845 ext. 2727
Participants must call ahead. No drop-ins.

I am a loved one of a survivor. Can I attend a support group at Tri-Valley Haven?
Currently we only offer support groups for survivors of domestic violence or sexual assault. However both survivors and loved ones may receive individual counseling at Tri-Valley Haven.

Do you offer support groups for LGBTQ survivors?
Our support groups are open to LGBTQ survivors, though currently we do not offer separate support groups for only LGBTQ survivors. If there is enough interest, we may offer one in the future!

Do you offer support groups for men?
Currently we do not offer an all-men support group. We hope to offer specific groups for male survivors in the future. If you are a male survivor and would be interested in an all-men support group, please let our counseling department know!

How can I join a support group or find out more?
If you would like more information or are interested in one of our support groups, please visit our website www.trivalleyhaven.org or call:

Tri-Valley Haven Community Building: 925.449.5845
Domestic Violence Support Group: Liz @ 925.449.5845 ext. 2718
Sexual Assault Support Group: Jessie @ 925.449.5845 ext 2727


logoIf you or a loved one is survivor of domestic violence or sexual assault, Tri-Valley Haven can help. We offer individual counseling, support groups, advocacy, shelter services and a 24-hour crisis line at 800.884.8119. We are a nonprofit organization that relies on the availability of grants and the generosity of our donors to fund our life-saving programs.

To learn more about our live-saving services and how you can help us keep our doors open, visit www.trivalleyhaven.org!

Speaking with Survivors of Domestic Violence: “Have You Experienced Any Kind Of Sexual Assault?”

Stephanie for blog

A guest post by Stephanie, our Legal Services Advocate at Tri-Valley Haven

Stephanie is our Legal Services Advocate at Tri-Valley Haven. Twice a week, she runs our drop-in Restraining Order Clinic. Below Stephanie shares her experience with asking survivors of domestic violence if they’ve ever experienced sexual assault.


“Have you experienced any kind of sexual assault?”

It is one of many standard questions that we ask during the intake process at our Domestic Violence Restraining Order Clinic. I never know what the answer will be. Some women answer very clearly “no.” A few will answer clearly “yes.” Others may hesitate a bit before denying that sexual assault has anything to do with the domestic abuse that brought them into the clinic seeking protection. And yet as I talk to them and find out more about their story, it sometimes becomes clear that they have indeed been sexually assaulted at the hands of their intimate partner or spouse.

Rene* came in our clinic to seek a restraining order from her abusive husband. They had been married for many years but she was tired of the abuse and ready to end the marriage. Though she had initially answered “no” when I asked her if she had experienced sexual assault, it became clear as she told her story that indeed sexual assault had been a regular occurrence.

Marital or intimate partner rape is any unwanted intercourse or penetration obtained by force, threat of force, or when the spouse/partner is unable to consent. Rene, like many people, did not associate sexual assault with marriage, which is no surprise since historically sexual assault in marriage was not considered a crime. But today marital rape is a crime in all 50 states.

Still it can be hard for survivors in intimate relationships with an abuser to recognize when they have been victims of sexual assault. Rene is a perfect example.

Rene’s husband would often make sexual advances that she felt powerless to refuse because she knew that if she did, he would become violent as he had done many times in the past.  Thus she had sex with her husband even though she did not want to because she faced the threat of violent physical abuse if she didn’t. This kind of choice is no choice at all. Rene’s husband raped her, plain and simple.

Other examples of intimate partner rape include (but are not limited to):

  • Forcing sex with a spouse or partner who is asleep, intoxicated, drugged or unconscious
  • Sex when the spouse or partner feels or has been threatened with violence or harm if they refuse
  • Forcing sex by emotional manipulation, such as verbal abuse, threatening divorce, to harm or take the children, or to “get it from some else”
  • Any time the spouse or partner feels they have no other choice but to submit to sex. The absence of choice is quite simply the absence of consent.

Some may think that this type of sexual violence is not “as bad” as being raped by a stranger. But in fact, the trauma can be worse for victims because the abuse is likely to happen repeatedly. Many times survivors of domestic violence feel trapped in the relationship and face pressure from their community to persevere. Further aggravating the trauma that survivors feel is the profound sense of betrayal from someone they should be able to trust with their safety and well-being. Children from the relationship are also adversely affected by witnessing the abuse and its impact on their parent.

If you or someone you know is experiencing this kind of intimate partner violence, there is help available! Call our hotline at 1-800-884-8119 for crisis counseling, information and referrals. For more information about our bi-weekly Restraining Order Clinic, call (925) 449-5847 x 206.

*Names have been changed.

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